OMG, Ashlee and Pete got married, and Joe performed the ceremony

"We're delighted to confirm that Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson were married this evening in front of family and close friends," said the spokesperson.

I'm happy for the happy couple, I really am, but seriously, can't Papa Joe NOT be involved in something?

People is reporting that Ashlee and Pete Wentz were married Saturday evening in an intimate setting. Jessica Simpson was the maid of honor, Wentz's bulldog, Hemingway, was the ring bearer, and here's the kicker, Daddy Joe performed the ceremony. You've got to be kidding me. The guy just can't get his own life. But the dog being the ring bearer is cute, I'd pay to see that, that's probably all I'd pay to see, but I bet he was cute.

Guests included Tony Romo (aww, glad to see he came through for Jess), Nicole Richie and Joel Madden, as well as actor Donald Faison (Turk from Scrubs) with girlfriend CaCee Cobb.

The wedding was Alice in Wonderland themed which seems appropriate amid their wackadoodle family and "I'm late, I'm late for a very important date" (get it? pregnancy, I'm late, haha, sometimes I kill myself).

You can get the rest of the mushy details of love and all that and the info on dresses and all that crap here.

Ellen and Portia, too cute

They are the perfect example of why gay people should be allowed to marry in my opinion. Why would anyone want to keep these two from being allowed to be legally equal to the rest of the hetero world? It just seems odd to me to spend sooooo much money and effort to keep the gay community from marrying. Aren't there like starving kids living in severe poverty, school shootings, spousal and child abuse and murder to try and stop, and so many other things that need to be changed, why are there groupls who are going to attempt to fight the California Supreme Court ruling that Gay marriage be allowed (story)? Why in the world would they try and make a constitutional amendment? It's just assanine.

Now that I'm off my soapbox, watch this video of Ellen announcing she's getting hitched, Portia is too sweet for words.

The Prez's little girl says I do

Awww, weddings are always so wonderful and beautiful and all that crap. I've been married far too long to be too sentimental about weddings but I guess they're meant to be joyous occasions.

Prez G.W. Bush's daughter, Jenna, married Henry Hager (sounds a bit like a cartoon character name to me) at Prairie Chapel Ranch in Crawford, Texas on Saturday. It was a glorious affair all around I'm sure. Good luck to the new Republican power couple.

{photos via Hollywood Grind}

Mariah Carey, liar liar pants on fire

Well not too long ago before Mariah Carey got married I had noticed that she seemed to get bit by her dog a lot, mainly because she went everywhere with a Band-Aid on her hand and also because she had said during her interview with Oprah that her dog had bit her.

Well now she's back on Oprah today and seems she had gotten a tattoo (says Mrs. Cannon?) so I'm thinking the Band-Aid must have just been a tattoo cover and not a vicious dog cover-up. See, I'm in detective mode.

Getting a tattoo of your love is very romantic, totally stoooopid, but romantic. Telling everyone your poor, harmless pooch bit you to cover it up is just not right.

UPDATE: Okay, so I just read that Mariah actually got the tattoo on her back, bummer, I was wrong, hate when that happens. I actually prefer my under-the-bandaid theory but we can't be right all the time. Story here

One more confirmation of a wedding

Did we really need one more confirmation that a wedding had taken place? Well just in case you do then People Magazine got the scoop and the pictures to prove that a wedding did indeed take place between Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon. Naysayers be gone.

I'm actually kind of happy they did this so now maybe we can move on from this event. Although, I must say that I was starting to wonder if maybe it was just one of those Ashton Kutcher jokes being played on the paparazzi (E, Pop Fiction), now that would have been funny.

Scarlett flashes her rock

A very sparkly Scarlett Johansson shows off her newly acquired rock while being flanked by Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana at the Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Gala in New York City. Her dress is a Dolce and Gabbana, just like her photo partners.

The dress sort of looks like a slip that goes under a prom dress to me, but hey, the girl is happy so I guess I'll cut her some slack.

{photo via people}

The beautiful people get engaged

Don't stare too long, you might go blind from the beautifulness that is Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds. The two hotties have been dating since March of 2007 and have decided to go ahead and pledge to live forever as one until one tips over dead, or as most people would say, they've decided to become engaged.

This will be the first marriage for both. Reynolds, 31, was previously engaged to Alanis Morissette. Scarlett has been previously linked to Josh Hartnett, Justin Timberlake, and Jonathan Rhys Meyers.

No wedding date has been set.

Mariah, Bahama Mama

So it's pretty much been confirmed that Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon did the whole til death do we part thing today which is oh so romantic in a crazy, we've-only-been-dating-for-a-blink-and-you-ll-miss-it sort of way. But who cares, I wanna know about the place they did the deed. After Googling, Yahooing, and MSNing I've found that the island where they reportedly pledged eternal love is quite beautiful...hey, it's the Bahamas, of course it's beautiful.

Back in February Mariah plunked down about $5.4 million bucks for a 4000 square foot, 4 bedroom, 5 bath beach house on Windermere Island, Bahamas. I wonder if that's where Nick and Mariah will honeymoon or if they will do something equally as spontaneous as their wedding.

Mariah's married?

Well there's something to be said about a quickie engagement and a very quickie wedding, namely thank god we don't have to listen to all the details and the love gushing for months and months.

Reports are going around that Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon tied the knot yesterday in a simple ceremony with a few close friends and family on an island somewhere expensive I'm sure. Someone close to Nick Cannon has been spreading the word about the elopement. I'm thinking it was probably Nick trying to get the heat off of the regifted ring he gave Mariah, but that's just my thoughts.

Well we wish the quickie couple a happy marriage, however that may last.

Band camp finally pays off

Star Magazine is reporting that American Pie alum Jason Biggs, 30, has gotten married to actress Jenny Mollen, 28, on April 23.

The couple did it up big by getting married at City Hall in Los Angeles with no friends or family in present. Now that's my kind of nuptials, simple and cheap.

"Jason and Jenny agreed that they did not want to deal with the whole family thing because it would have been too stressful on both of them," says an insider. "They thought it would be a lot more relaxing to do it just the two of them with no pressure. It was a very private wedding and that is exactly how they wanted it."

That same night, the two rang in their new marital status with a private dinner in Beverly Hills with a small group of friends. Two days later, they left for their honeymoon in Hawaii.

"They are so in love that all that mattered to them was just getting married, whether there were frills or not," says the source. "Maybe one day later they will have the whole white dress and flowers major celebration, but not now. They just want this to be an intimate event between the two of them."

The two love birds have been dating for nine months which sounds like a nice convenient number to me. They met on the set of the Kate Hudson film My Best Friend's Girl, which is due out in September.

Mariah's got a secret?

Mariah Carey has been making the rounds lately stumping for her new album E=MC2 and now for her new movie, Tennessee, which debuted at the Tribeca Film Festival this past weekend. All these are awesome but there is something else that has many celeblogs buzzing, a huge rock on the all-important finger of Miss Carey. It's huge and sparkly and very Mariahesque. I don't know how a person would haul a rock around like that without developing carpal tunnel or finger strain or something.

The ring is totally gorgeous so if she is engaged, then her secret boyfriend Nick Cannon did good, but my question is are Band-Aids in this spring? Every picture I've seen Miss Mimi in this past week or two, or at least since she was on Oprah where she announced her dog had bitten her, she's had a cutesy little Band-Aid on. It's totally Band-Aid sheek I guess. Either she's making a fashion statement (the kind my 9-year-old daugher makes) or she really needs to get a new dog. Hope he's had his shots.

If there's one thing Mariah is queen at it is definitely getting people to talk, work it chicky.

Bling, bling, kaching I think. Honestly, I think it's all just to get everyone talking, but I guess only time will tell.

What chu talkin' about missus?

Keeping your marriage secret and then deciding to go public about it eight months later is obviously not a formula for celebrity wedded bliss.

Diff'rent Strokes star 40 year-old Gary Coleman (really? 40?), is not living happily ever after after all, awww, disappointing. Divorce is tough so he's decided to let us all share in his misery by airing his dirty laundry on a very special Divorce Court two-parter. Coleman and his 22 year-old missus, Shannon Price, will appear on the show for I'm sure a ratings sweep next month.

Some of the wonderful details have already been gleaned from transcripts. Shannon said, "If we have sex, we have sex. (oh my mind is burning, my mind is burning) If we don't, we don't." "It's nobody's business," added Gary (good reason to tell us all about it on TV).

Coleman was an admitted virgin before meeting and wooing Shannon on a movie set. Shocker.

I'm setting my Tivo as we speak.